so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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