I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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