You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
never play flip cup with pint glasses
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
