On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
