So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
