What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
