D3 body, D1 cock
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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