he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
