I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
