I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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