i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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