I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
