he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
