Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
