You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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