i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
