All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
