would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
