a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
