What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
