The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
