Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
