Me. At least after what I've been through.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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