no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
