I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
