I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
