I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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