Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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