her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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