I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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