All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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