Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
