her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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