the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
