I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
