just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
