apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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