I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
