we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
