Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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