Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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