Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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