did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
