i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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