And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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