I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
