i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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