its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
