All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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