new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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