I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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